call it a whim

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Ok, back in the day I missed a lot of class. This stemmed from all of the normal things that are happening in the life of a college student, plus the fact that my family life was quite rocky (isn't that a nice way to say it), I was sick a lot, and I was working way more than I should have been. Class was close to the last thing on my list of things to get done in a day. Now, of course, I am a bit embarrassed by my actions, but at the time I really could have cared less, plus I really did have to work.
When I did manage to make it to class, one thing was a constant. The teacher was already there (and had no doubt noted the fact that I had decided to show up). I don't ever remember going to a class and not having someone there to teach it. Even if the instructor was sick, a worthy replacement had been found, and the class didn't miss a beat.
Imagine how surprised I was yesterday, when I showed up for my anatomy and physiology class, and the instructor was not there. We sat and waited, and eventually her assistant came in. "ummm....I am pretty sure Ms. ****** is not coming. If she doesn't, just read the first two chapters." Well, thanks for being very vague. So some of us waited around, hoping she would come. Nope.
I was pretty floored. It's amazing how much perspective comes with being a few years older, and not having scholarships or loans to pay the tuition. I wanted to learn, and felt robbed of the money I had already shelled out for the 3 hours I was supposed to have been there.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


To the guy a few streets down: Spray painting gold flames on your '88 pickup does not make it look better.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Karma Wand

I have recently come to the conclusion that mothers, upon the birth of their first child, should receive a special gift. Yes, flowers are nice, but not very useful in the long run. Chocolate is good, but in 4 months when mommy hasn't lost all the baby weight, she's going to be cursing the person who bought her the Whitman's Sampler. Believe me. So what should they get? A wand. A Karma wand. It's sole purpose would be to distribute karma, good or bad, upon people that mothers come in contact with on a day to day basis. It could not be used on their children, because that could backfire. It would be intended for strangers only. Now that is something that would be worth it's weight in gold. Instead of getting upset, mad, or breaking into a fit of post-partum tears, the recipient of bad behavior could just smile, point her invisible wand, and walk away knowing good would prevail. Here are a few of the uses MY karma wand would have had under it's belt over the past year.

For the balding man who pulled his mustang into the "expectant and new mothers" spot at the mall while we (me and my 3 week old baby) were driving up the aisle from the other way... BAM....a strange medical condition that makes his body think it is a nine month pregnant woman.

To the group of pre-teenagers outside Target who found it really funny to throw their chewing gum outside the front door and see how many people would step on it on the way to their cars...BAM...suddenly their ipods only play Rod Stewart and Enya, and their cell phones only work to call "home" and "dad cell".

Aimed at the business man who clearly saw me heading for the door of the restroom at Starbucks, diaper and baby in hand, and rushed in first...Ka-Zam...he trips on the way to the car and spills his Latte down the front of his expensive suit, forcing him to go to a meeting looking like he wet his pants.

For the college guy at Chipotle who suggested out loud to his buddy that I just sit down and relax instead of hovering near the counter waiting for my hungry baby's cheese quesadilla...Sha-Bam...sextuplets will be born a few years down the road. His buddy gets triplets just for giggling at him, and two of them he'll suspect aren't his but will never be quite sure. (I was mad that day).

To the 40 year old mother of a teenager on the airplane in front of me who suggested drugging my child to sleep on the next flight, because that's what she used to do (he had cried for a total of 2 minutes) her elderly years, the daughter will become her caregiver and slip a little extra valium into her nightly pill cocktail, "just to keep mom calm".

and last but certainly not least...

To the swim instructor who recently told me " if you dropped Jesus Christ in a pool, he would cry too...your son is normal"(I am not even sure what that statement was supposed to mean)...ALAKAZAM...Jesus returns, walks the guy into the middle of the pacific, hands him a toothpick, and says "good luck".

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Peek a Boo

Hey there all! I promise I will be back soon with more in the life of us. But until then, I thought we could play a little game of Peek a Boo (get your minds out of the gutter, this is a family blog). I am interested to see who's into me on the world wide web. So if you read my blog all the time, sometimes, or just stumbled across it today leave me a comment so I know you're here. I promise to respond to each of you!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Who knew?

Where have all the normal people gone? I ask this because recently we have been trying to find a babysitter for Grady so I could take a day class. Now, back in the day I sat for my fare share of little ones. All of their pre-school friends had babysitters who were just like me. A student who loved kids and wanted to make a little extra cash. Evidently, all of those people have vanished from tha face of the earth, because finding a babysitter has been nothing short of impossible. All we needed was someone to come over for 4-5 hours a week, so I thought it would be pretty easy. I went to several local colleges and hung up fliers, and also advertised in one of their newspapers. I had a few calls that went something like this:

"I'm sorry, what?"
"...the babies...for you much?"
"I am not selling my baby."
"yes....for me to much"
"oh, are you calling in reference to the ad?"
"The ad, for babysitting."
"...for BABIES!"
"I'm sorry, it's been filled"
I made new fliers that included the phrase "must speak english well." What would have happened if I told her not to let Grady go in the pool?

Then there was this email
"My mom said I could, but then she said no, and anyway, I need to make like $350 a week, so I don't know if you can do that or not"

Well, no we really can't pay $90 an hour. We were thinking more like $7 (back in the day, I was happy with $5).

Finally, I thought I had a good prospect lined up. Until she called 4 hours before our interview and cancelled due to a family emergency. Now I am not saying she did not have one, for all I know, she did, but as Chris pointed out..."how do we trust that she'll show up for the real job?" Point taken. maybe I need to rethink this. How about daycare. Everyone I called laughed the second I mentioned "drop in" care. There are a few Mothers Day Out programs, but with the waiting lists the way they are, I would be lucky to get my yet-unconcieved second child in by the time they are two. Finally, I found a center that is based out of HCC, where I will be taking classes. Everything seemed great, until she mentioned that the child must be walking before they start. Now Grady's close, but not quite there, so I started thinking of ways I could make it seem like he was walking at home, but not in public. I had just decided "walkaphobia" was probably not real when she said " right now, however, we are full, but you can go on the waiting list".

Night classes, here I come.