call it a whim

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A new year

This post finds me already 10 days into 2006. I remember vividly being in 6th grade, walking up the cafeteria stairs, thinking about 1999, the year I would graduate high school. I could not imagine being that old! I am by nature a planner and a daydreamer. I am idealistic and love to imagine the future in a tint of perfect, a quality I am amazed I have hung onto throughout the years. When I finally got to 1999, I was sure I would marry my high school sweetheart while we were in college and immediately begin having 5 or 6 kids. Boy am I glad I was wrong. In college, I was looking to find what I wanted to do with my life. Dating mostly terrible guys and dealing with my past. A typical 19 year old girl, I'd say. When I left Carson-Newman in the fall of 2003, I could never have imagined, even in my daydreams that within the course of 2 years, I would meet the man of my dreams, marry, have a baby, buy a home....all of the things I had always wanted. And for once at the beginning of a year, I don't have many regrets. I look back on 2005 in a new way. Truth be told, while it was happening, I wanted it to go faster (especially the period of May-July when I was very pregnant in 95 degree heat and humidity). But the past 6 months have literally flown by. I can't believe that my son has just about clocked half a year of his life. He's sitting up, eating Gerber baby food, trying to hold his own bottle and crawl. Soon he won't need me to be mobile. He'll start idolizing his daddy more and needing me less. I am thrilled by all of it, and completely amazed. So this year my new years resolution is to simply enjoy him. Enjoy every second, without looking to much into what his future holds, because I will know soon enough.

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